Ness Tziyona
For Part III of this series on Tznius click here.
Dovid Hamelech accorded the title akkeres bayis to each and every Jewish woman. He said: "Moshivi akkeres habayis, eim habonim smeicha" (Tehillim 113:9). Chazal explained: akkeres habayis means the mainstay of the household, the ikkar of the household. From this we learn that the home — bais Yisroel, bais Yaakov is entrusted to the mother of the household, and it is well known, that it is she who lays the foundations upon which a home of Torah, sanctity and purity are built.
As has already been mentioned, the essence of Jewish modesty is expressed by the words "Kol kvoda bas melech pnima" — "All glorious is the king's daughter within the palace" (Tehillim 45:14) and who is more authorized than our sacred Torah to determine that the greatest glory and the most exalted description of the Jewish woman is kol kvoda.
The cases of Kimchis and of the mother of the Chazon Ish have also been mentioned. I only wish to clarify the issue a bit more.
When each and every member of this audience will appear before the Heavenly court, she will be told: "You were capable of raising a number of children who could have been like the Chazon Ish, and some who could have been like high priests. With your modesty and sanctity, you could have accomplished this. But in the end, what have you to show the court? A few good Jews? All due respect to you for that. But you could have done more. Your children could have been like the Chazon Ish!"
What will you say to this weighty and difficult accusation? Being the mother of a talmid chochom is not merely an honor, a privilege. It is a serious demand! An incisive demand which devolves on every Jewish mother. All Jewish mothers are charged with the mission of bringing a number of children who will be like the Chazon Ish, or like other tzadikim, into the world!
The Torah says: "And I shall separate you from the nations to be for Me..." Chazal say: "If you are separate from the nations, then you are Mine, and if not, then you belong to Nevuchadnezar and his ilk." The Torah has made a very clear distinction: If you separate yourselves from the nations, you belong to Hashem. If not, you belong to the camp of Nevuchadnezar.
What is the meaning of this distinction? When we study the concept, "separation" or "distinction" in our Talmudic sources and the words of Chazal, we see that it denotes a very delicate and fine line, which separates between light and darkness, Israel and the nations, sacred and mundane, pure and impure.
Rashi, in parshas Shemini, defines this concept even more sharply. He asks, in the name of Chazal: "Is it necessary to stress the difference between a donkey and a cow? Everyone knows the difference! What factor distinguishes pure from impure?"
He then replies, in the name of Chazal: "According to the laws of shechita an animal which is slaughtered according to the halacha is kosher, while an animal which is not slaughtered according to the halacha is not kosher."
Chazal ask: "What distinguishes between a non-kosher and a kosher carcass? If the major part of one of the kashrus signs on a chicken, and the major part of two of the kashrus signs on an animal are slit, it is kosher. If only a half of the sign — from the windpipe to the gullet has been slit, then the carcass is not kosher. "What is the difference between a half and the major part?" asks Rashi. "A hairsbreadth."
From this we learn the basic rule that the boundaries of the Torah — the limits of sanctity — are hairsbreadths. As with the laws of shechita, so with the laws of dress. If one digresses from the halacha by even a millimeter, he is called a member of the circle of Nevuchadnezar and his ilk. The same principle applies to all the other aspects of purity and impurity of which the Torah speaks. It is these fine boundaries which we must study and discern intelligently.
Chazal tell about the daughter of Chanina ben Tradion, who once passed by a group of prominent Romans. She, of course, was dressed modestly, as suited the daughter of so great a tzaddik. However, at that moment, she was very conscious about her gait, and tried to walk a bit more daintily. The prominent men of Rome who saw her, said: "How comely are the footsteps of that maiden."
The next time she went out, she was even more careful about her gait. When she saw that they were paying attention to her, she tried to walk even more nicely. Chazal say: "She was punished [by Heaven] by being taken to a house of iniquity."
With Hashem's help, she was spared from sin, but the experience of being in so tainted a place was very harrowing. As we said, she was punished because she had tried to walk daintily in public. From this account, we can derive the Torah's view on all sorts of promenades — their consequences, their punishment.
Chazal also speak about a young girl, of whom R' Yochonon said: "We have learned the fear of sin from the maiden. Whenever she prepared to go outside, she would pray: `Ribono shel olam! You have created Gan Eden and Gehennom. You have created the wicked and the righteous. May it be Your will, that people not sin through me.'"
Every woman must follow her example, and when she goes outside — no matter for what purpose — should be very careful to pray that no step of hers will cause others to sin.
The Torah tells us: "Speak unto all the congregation of the Children of Israel and say to them: You shall be holy..." (Vayikra 19:1) The Ohr Hachaim says: "The Torah uses the words, `the entire congregation of the Children of Israel' so that no one will think that limits of sanctity and purity pertain only to the elite. Everyone, without exception, is required to fulfill the mitzvah, `You shall be holy' — `kedoshim tehiyu.'"
What are the limits of this mitzvah? They were not explained in a defined law, because they are included in each and every one of the laws of the Torah. Each law contains an aspect of "You shall be holy."
Chazal explain the matter in this way: "Sanctify yourself with what is permitted to you." Even in permissible areas — such as permitted attire, permitted foods, even those with the finest hechsher — there is still a broad arena for the fulfillment of the command: "Sanctify yourself with that which is permitted you."
These limits were presented to each person according to his level and stature, and in every situation, one must always advance and rise higher. The levels of sanctity are broad and open, and there is no limit to the level of modesty, sanctity and purity which one can attain. Our duty is to be aware of the great responsibility which rests on our shoulders.
There is yet another area of concern. It is very important for us to protest the current habit of some women who visit separate beaches, yet do not wear robes, while there. For some reason, they disregard the fact that there are lifeguards and ice cream peddlers on the beach, and feel that this doesn't matter. Perhaps they think that the presence of one or two males on the beach doesn't make it a "mixed" area. They can understand that when thousands of males are present, the beach is considered mixed, but assume that one or two males are nullified in sixty — boteil beshishim.
Who taught them that? Who issued such a ruling? A woman is required to wear a robe on the beach even when there is only one man there. How many prohibitions result from the failure to abide by this ruling?
The great rabbis of our city (Bnei Brak) have more than once forbidden the selling of certain types and styles of wigs. Sadly, though, certain lightheaded women defy these rulings, and travel to irreligious communities to purchase them. With a "hairsbreadth," they begin sliding in undesirable directions.
We are responsible for klal Yisroel — its past and future generations. All Israel are responsible for one another, in the past, the present and the future.
"R' Shimon says: To what can the matter be compared? To a ship at sea whose passengers suddenly feel that it is sinking. Immediately, an investigation is made. The captain enters one of the cabins. He sees that one of the passengers has bored a hole in the wall and that the sea's waters are penetrating the ship and threatening to sink it. The captain asks him: `What are you doing?' He replies: `This is my private cabin, and no one can tell me what to do.' The captain replies: `You are wrong. We are all in one ship. You are endangering the lives of all of us.'"
R' Shimon cited this example in relation to the verse in Koheles, "And one sinner shall lose much good." He meant to teach that even a sin which an individual commits in his innermost chambers, causes a hole to be made in the ship of the entire Jewish community, which is making its way through the raging seas which surround us. Our ship must grapple with mighty waves. Every slight breach, and of course every serious breach can cause the entire ship of our Nation to drown.
Therefore, know that the spiritual level of all of Israel has been entrusted into your hands — the hands of the daughters of Israel, and that you are charged with doing all that you can to mend this breach. You must feel the immensity of the responsibility and the immensity of the task, and must fulfill it with great care and caution. If we think carefully about the matter, we will find many things which must be corrected.
I do not wish to stand here and to make comments, but I must make one more point. It is quite common today to find mothers who evade their responsibilities as educators. They entrust a major part of the chinuch of their children to babysitters and general household helpers, while they themselves teach outside the home and fulfill public roles, neglecting their families in the process. Perhaps helpers are capable of washing floors well, but they cannot be those who raise generations and lay foundations of purity and sanctity.
A famous educator once told me that many parents err, when they devote time to rescuing others, while failing to concern themselves with the spiritual welfare of their own children. They don't realize that their children might one day require similar aid from the very same rescue organizations in which their parents are active.
But it is possible to curtail this plague before it begins to spread, if mothers realize that their primary task is to fortify their own homes, and to seal its breaches, from a spiritual standpoint. The pride of the woman of valor is that "She is not afraid of the snow on her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet" (Mishlei 31:21). When the Jewish home is protected by a layer of the warmth of perfect modesty and purity, then it will surely breed great Torah scholars. The greatest and primary kindness a woman can perform, is that of nurturing her own family and teaching them Torah true traits.
We pray that our children be like olive plants which do not absorb influences which are alien to the spirit of the Torah. May it be Hashem's will that our children grow into tall trees which bear fruits which bring blessing to all Israel. May our sons be "as plants grown up in their youth" (Tehillim 144:12) and our daughters "like corner-pillars carved after the fashion of a palace" (Ibid.) within their homes.
May the verse, "Your sons are like olive plants around your table" (Tehillim 128:3) be fulfilled through you.
The Radak says: "Why were our Jewish sons compared to olive plants? Because the olive tree is one which cannot be grafted." It is for this reason that we pray that our children be like live saplings, to whom alien influences or outlooks — or anything foreign to the spirit of Yiddishkeit and of the Jewish Nation — will not cling.
May we merit to hear no more shouting in the streets of our sacred cities or in Torah observant centers, for sadly, the situation in these places is still far from desirable and very frightening. Let us strengthen ourselves through our avodas hakodesh, and through fervent prayers to the Maker of the Universe, merit to fulfill our mission and to protect our most priceless legacy — our children.
Together with our sons and daughters, may we be privileged to welcome the Moshiach, speedily in our times.
